Hope lives on

Thank you, Caesar! You are THE joy of our lives. Each day is a blessing.

baat niklee to har baat pe...

16... Sweet?

Homeland to Home.... 16. And still counting. Nuff said.

Happy Sankara Jayanti

Today is the birth anniversary of Sri Adi Sankaracharya, considered one of the greatest philosophers ever, and one of the foremost proponents of Advaita Vedanta.

It is very sad that in today's India, it is fashionable to talk disparagingly about anything and everything associated with "Hinduism." If you talk with pride about Hindus and Hindu culture, you are quickly branded as a Hindu fundamentalist. Of course, the so-called representatives of 'Hindutva' have also contributed a lot to this sad state of affairs.

But if you really care to know what the Sanatana Dharma is all about, go and learn about Adi Sankara and read his commentaries. If you keep an open mind, I have no doubt you will come back feeling proud.

There is no doubt that today's Hindu society is a mess and is very despicable just like every other society in this world. But blaming Hindu Dharma for all the ills in Hindu society is like blaming somebody else for your own sins.

Ok... I don't want this post to be a rant about pseudo-secularists. So I stop here. Otherwise, this post will never end.

There is another reason why 'Sankara Jayanthi' is so special to me. Today, Vaishaakha Suddha Panchami, also happens to be the birthday of my paternal grandfather, who has had the most positive influence than anybody on me. He passed away a few years ago but there hasn't been a single day I haven't conversed with him. He was highly knowledgable about Advaita Vedanta and led a very pious life. Remembering him today is very special to me.

A decade and a half since...

And the day and everything on either side of it is still very fresh in my heart:

The burst of activity at home as I suddenly left for the US carrying dreams of doing exciting research in computer science, the commotion on the morning of my travel after spending one last night in my favorite room as my best friend and I packed my bags with tears all night, and in the commotion leaving my future brother-in-law's brother (who had come from Chennai to bid me farewell) locked inside the house as we headed to the airport only to be rediscovered when the farewell party returned home; Spending 4 hours in Mumbai airport waiting for my cousin who was going to show up "any moment", and then being coaxed into going with him to Andheri to have one last Karnataka meal before leaving the country; And then finally leaving the country a little past midnight with a heavy heart. Little did I know that it was going to be another 4.5 years before I would see my home again.

And little did I know that Chicago would eventually become the place I call home. And that I would eventually give up the passport bearing the above stamps. And that, 15 years later, I would be writing this post on this blog.

सार॑गा तॆरी याद मॆ॑...

Just because it is Jan 18th

Blast from the past

Certain days just don’t start right. That is just how it goes. There is not much you can do about it. You could wake up to a harsh scream next door or a loud bang on your door or the unbearable sound of the lawnmower right in the morning of a summer weekday that you chose to sleep in! Or it could be the loud and incessant ringing of a junk call on your landline. Or it could be the sweetest ring tone you chose for your cell phone which, when you reached for it, turned into possibly the most unwelcome voice at the other end. **it happens. Like it did for me this morning.

But then, some beautiful things do happen, almost riding on the back of the ugliest of things. Life has a way of teaching you that the good and the bad appear, almost always, together. It is up to you to take in what you want and leave out what you shouldn’t want.

OK, back to what happened this morning. As soon as I hung up the unwelcome call that woke me up this morning, my BlackBerry beeped again. I was not inclined to reach for it, I wanted to go back to sleep and get some much needed rest as this was the first weekend I was fortunate enough to have just for myself after weeks of crazy work schedule that spanned several time zones across continents.

Reach I did, half willingly, and realized that it was an email. I opened the inbox with droopy eyes.... and my eyes lit up in an instant! I just couldn’t believe my eyes, I thought it was a dream. I had received an email from a long lost friend whom I cherished a lot and tried very hard over the years to find! And he had found me and sent me an email!

This friend, a very very nice guy, was my closest buddy when we lived in Delhi. We did everything together, from roaming the streets of Delhi (and nearby places), visiting the most wonderful and tiny book shops around Chandni Chowk, taking the DTC buses to wherever we felt like going, eating wherever we felt like eating, shopping anywhere from the amazing by-lanes around Janpath to the vegetable market in Mandawali Fazalpur..... and, yeah, discussing career and life plans... and everything under the sun. The innumerable evenings we spent talking both our grandiose plans and utter non-sense sitting on the terrace of his mausi’s house sipping tea and munching various snacks....

I have visited Taj Mahal only once in my life despite living in Delhi and passing by Agra soooo many times. And it was Dinesh who was with me when I saw Taj Mahal. It was also his first time.

The last I saw him was probably in 1994. We kept in touch for quite sometime after that. I moved to US and he moved to Mohali. We had ‘snail mail’ contact after that. He had occasional email access which he rarely used, and as I finished grad school and my email addresses kept changing in the pre-gmail days, we were slowly cut off. I couldn’t reach his parents back in Himachal Pradesh. And this was probably about 1998, before cellphones became common in India. So we lost touch. Completely. Until this morning.

And was I thrilled!! I am so glad he renewed his search and found me. He has a good job, is happily married, and works/lives not too far from his home town. I am so happy for him!

Why am I writing about it here? Of course I am happy and excited about regaining a very good friend. But the bigger reason is to highlight the positive impact internet can have on our lives. That is, only if we allow it to. And only if we use it in a positive way. I have seen people who use internet as a weapon of destruction, to harm others, as a means to satisfy their greed, their hatred, their lust, and to basically extend their evil existence. But you can also use it to unite people, find friends, find and spread happiness, and to basically extend your good existence. What you want to do with it is a reflection of who you are. You choose!

Oh, by the way, I totally forgot about the unwanted call that woke me up. Actually, there was no other choice. A wonderful event had replaced it almost immediately.

तोच चंद्रमा नभात

There are certain chores I don't mind doing over and over again I guess. One of them is "preparing" to convert a seemingly infinite collection of audio tapes I have collected over the years to mp3 format so I can carry them on my iPods. So, over the last few days I went through a whole box (out of several such) full of tapes that I hadn't played in a while since I don't have cassette player anymore! There were really, really old Hindi, Kannada, Telugu, Marathi songs, both from movies and bhaavageethe, and of course Carnatic & Hindustani music. And I picked a few Marathi cassettes, as usual, as my first set to be converted. They are way up on my priority list because they are harder to replace. I want to convert them first before they quit on me. Why don't you just buy the CD versions, you ask? Because I don't want to spend a fortune! Just look at my collection and you will know! So, I organized them, as always, in the order of priority, keeping away the ones that I also have on CDs, and..... put them all back in the box. Why? I told you, I don't have a player to play them on! How can I convert them without a player?

Anyways, here are some of the songs I "looked at" and then played on the net. Again. And again. And again. Haven't stopped yet.

1. One of my all time favorites, "Ghanashyam Sundara" from Amar Bhupali, sung by Panditrao Nagarkar (and also Lata Mangeshkar -- this song repeats a few times in the movie). If you love music in V. Shantaram's movies, here is why: The music was composed by Vasant Desai, who also composed the following song:




And lyrics:

घनःश्याम सुंदरा श्रीधरा अरुणोदय झाला
उठिं लवकरि वनमाळी उदयाचळी मित्र आला

आनंदकंदा प्रभात झाली उठी सरली राती
काढी धार क्षीरपात्र घेउनी धेनु हंबरती
लक्षताती वासुरें हरि धेनु स्तनपानाला

सायंकाळीं एके मेळीं द्विजगण अवघे वृक्षीं
अरुणोदय होताचिं उडाले चरावया पक्षी
प्र्भातकाळी उठुनि कावडी तीर्थ पंथ लक्षी
करुनी सडासंमार्जन गोपी कुंभ घेऊनी कुक्षीं
यमुनाजळासि जाति मुकुंदा दध्योदन भक्षी

कोटी रवीहून तेज आगळें तुझिया वदनाला
होनाजी हा नित्य ध्यातसे हृदयी नाम माला


2. "तोच चंद्रमा नभात" by Sudhir Phadke, arguably one of the best Bhaavgeethe singers of India:



And lyrics:

तोच चंद्रमा नभात तीच चैत्रयामिनी
एकांती मजसमीप तीच तूहि कामिनी !

नीरवता ती तशीच धुंद तेच चांदणे
छायांनी रेखियले चित्र तेच देखणे
जाईचा कुंज तोच तीच गंधमोहिनी

सारे जरि ते तसेच धुंदि आज ती कुठे ?
मीहि तोच तीच तूहि प्रीति आज ती कुठे ?
ती न आर्तता उरात स्वप्न ते न लोचनी

त्या पहिल्या प्रीतीच्या आज लोपल्या खुणा
वाळल्या फुलांत व्यर्थ गंध शोधतो पुन्हा
गीत ये न ते जुळून भंगल्या सुरांतुनी


3. "प्रिया आज माझी नसे साथ द्याया" by Sudhir Phadke:

Play from this link

And lyrics, of course:

प्रिया आज माझी नसे साथ द्याया
नको धुंद वारे, नको चांदण्या या

नको पारिजाता धरा भुषवू ही
पदांची तिच्या आज चाहूल नाही
प्रियेविण आरास जाईल वाया

फुले सान झेलू, तरी भार होतो
पुढे वाट साधी, तरी तोल जातो
कुणाला कळाव्या मनाच्या व्यथा या

न शांती जिवाला, न प्राणास धीर
कसा आज कंठात येईल सूर
उरी वेदना मात्र जागेल गाया

अता आठविता तशा चांदराती
उरे मौक्तिकावीण शिंपाच हाती
उशाला उभी ती जुनी स्वप्नमाया


I can go on and on....But I must stop here. For now. Will add more later.

The (not so) Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Long (overdue) post. Read at your own risk.

I miss the general elections in India. I miss the sight of the largest democracy in the world thundering over the slumbering junta and bringing live shows of its comedians and villains (most of them playing both at the same time) to the nearest galli, circle, playground, and railway station. For free. Sometimes, even with a gift or two if you are considered (un)worthy enough. I miss the loud cheering and jeering, yelling & squealing of everybody and anybody even remotely associated with the elections.

I also miss the self-important journalists trying yet again to get their equations right, on TV and on paper, everyday and every sleepless night. I miss watching every TV channel and newspaper, suitably compensated by various political parties for their outstanding journalistic service, parading its own number-theory experts, psychologists and psephologists who claim to have understood the most ununderstandable of all species - the Indian voter. I miss seeing them go wrong election after mid-term election and still not give up!

And I also miss taking an active part in this whole mela! Of course, voting is one of the ways to take an active part in this democratic process. If you can vote, you must vote. And not only must you cast only your vote but also make sure nobody else casts your vote. I haven’t had a chance to vote since I did a few years ago back in Delhi. And I don’t think I will get a chance to vote again in India in the foreseeable future. I really miss it.

But what I meant by ‘active part’ was actually participating in the electioneering process itself! Yes, even before I attained the voting age, I had been playing my part as a volunteer. For BJP, of course. I really miss those days of crazy activity which involved putting up posters on every blank and non-blank wall, going door to door and distributing pamphlets, putting up buntings along the streets only to find them torn or missing the next morning, crying hoarse at the Congress hooligans (when they weren't around) for taking them apart, and putting them up all over again till we ran out of buntings, roaming the whole city in “on-election-duty” autos throwing handbills, screaming into the portable loudspeakers, getting chased from hostile areas, putting up makeshift “stages” for the leaders’ public speeches at all hours of day and night (one such night stands out when we had LK Advani at Chamundi Circle in Mysore – he showed up at midnight for an hour’s speech and there was not a single empty spot in that big circle and the buildings around it – and I got a chance to shake his hand as he was getting back into his car!). We would roam around the streets with copies of voter list in hand making sure the voters were accounted for, urging them to vote in general, requesting them to vote for our candidate in particular, and advising them to vote as early in the day as possible to defeat the illegal voters (we used to do this after the deadline for public canvassing was over!). And on Election Day, we would gather at the polling booths, sit at a rickety table holding a copy of voter list and “take attendance” of our voters, and spy on the other camps! At the end of the day, we would go back to the party office or the candidate’s home and soak in the news pouring in from other polling booths, areas, and cities. We would sit around the radio and the TV to gather news and analysis from folks who pretended to know everything. By the end of it all, we could barely speak because of all the yelling and screaming! And then the results would come in…. The voters would have spoken. And some of us would have shut up.

Only to start all over again! The elections were never too far those days what with all the jokers assembling in Delhi at the same time and making a tamasha of the whole expensive exercise the entire nation went through for months!

The election campaign scenario is probably much different now. Election Commission has robbed much of its charm, probably with a good reason. The political parties don’t pull governments now as frequently as they used to. But it still is the same rotten game of numbers, it still is the horse trade it always was, and you still can’t tell which party is in which new alliance. Nobody remembers the party symbols anymore. The Congress is still monopolized by the family whose feet its ‘leaders’ are eternally lined up to lick! Then there is a new spineless ‘Secular Front’ or ‘Third Front’ or whatever the flavor of the season is coming up every election consisting of the same old power brokers who have no ideological agenda whatsoever! There is no greater danger than these parties coming together at election time and making a mockery of democracy. Each one of them has a PM-aspirant who will go to any extent to grab that chair.

Sadly, even the BJP has failed to escape the rot that is part of the political landscape. Its moral base has eroded as its power base has expanded. There was a time when BJP leaders asserted that they would rather win only a handful of seats than compromise on its principles. It really used to be a great organization. But somewhere down the road, some leaders got tired of sitting in the opposition, ran out of their patience, and acceded to the younger leadership that argued that nothing can be achieved without power, and to achieve that power, certain principles can be and should be compromised. Good organizers became bad politicians. Powerful people with questionable backgrounds came into the party’s fold. The party tasted success. The decline began.

However, in spite of all this, I believe BJP is still better than other parties. BJP still has a leadership that is stronger, more committed to the welfare of Indians, and more dependable than others. BJP perhaps is still the only party with a true nationalistic agenda in spite of all the negative things the party has become famous for in recent times.

It is our misfortune that we are forced to pick the least evil of all available parties. Every party is corrupt to a certain degree, and every party has its share of fanatics, criminals and cheats. Whether you vote or not, someone will win. Vote we must because that is our fundamental responsibility towards our nation for which our forefathers have laid down their lives. If we don’t vote, we have no right to complain about the sorry state of things. We might as well vote for the party that is most likely to lead us better and/or harm the least!

At this point, I believe BJP is that party. You may not agree with me. You don’t have to. But I hope you will at least agree that you must vote.

The voting starts today.

H. V. Seshadri-ji

Ho. Ve. Seshadri-ji passed away over the weekend. I just don't feel good since I heard the news first thing Sunday morning. The end was expected for a while, but as anybody who knew Seshadri-ji would tell you, we never believed he would someday be gone...... How can you imagine an RSS without Ho Ve Seshadri??

I miss him... The last few days, since I came to know that he was on life support in a Bangalore hospital, the memories of those precious days that I was fortunate to spend with him over several years since my childhood up until I left India keep coming back to me... Especially those fews days in May 1984 (during my OTC in Bangalore) where I was lucky enough to sit by his feet in his room every night and talk to him and pester him to recount incidents from his life...... He had fractured his hand and it was in a cast.... He was in his late 50s at that time.... A perfect grandfather-figure!

The man was to succeed Param Poojaneeya Balasaheb Ji as the Sar Sanghchalak (the chief of RSS) which he declined and made way for Rajju Bhaiyya. He forever remained the low-profile leader with immense stature.

I consider myself fortunate to have known this learned, loving, saintly person.